8 Comments

Could you do it?

How many of you married or not, kids or no kids have discussed with a family member what your wishes would be if God forbid something happened to you?   I know, not the best way to start a post but I heard a statistic today that 85% of Americans have not specified to someone what their choices would be if something were to happen to them.  Honestly, the hubby and I have not sat down and discussed to the extent that we need to.

Unfortunately I had to witness this first hand today.  My Grandmother has been in the hospital for the past three weeks, unresponsive for the past  five days.  She is one of the strongest women I know.  Having fought cancer more than once and winning only to be struck down by preventative chemo treatments that killed all her white blood cells leaving her body wide open for massive infections.  As she lays in her hospital bed hooked up all sorts of different machines, unable to speak or respond, my grandfather sits and waits for some sign of improvement.  Waiting for some signal that he should make a decision to keep on trying, keep on fighting, to not give up.  However, that is not necessarily what she wanted.  Both my grandfather and my father (her son) were told by her exactly what she did not want to happen but making that final decision is one that I can only imagine is the hardest they have had to make.  I’m not sure what I would do in that situation.

Ironically, as I drove home from the hospital, I was listening to a podcast that was focusing on this exact topic of that final decision.  On the importance of discussing with a loved one what you would want to be done if you were the one laying in the hospital bed.  One of the hosts of the show mentioned how we handle the situation with humans the exact opposite of how we handle it with animals.  When our beloved pet gets sick or injured and we are given that choice of allowing them to continue in pain or to let them go, we often choose to let them go.  However, when it comes to making that final decision with our husbands, wives, moms, dads, etc. we hang on as long as we can despite what their wishes may have been.   For one because maybe we don’t know what they wanted  and for two (as in my grandpa’s case) how can we let them go?  How can we say goodbye when we know they are strong individuals who never give up?

I don’t know if I could and I can only hope that I never have to.  But I do know, the hubby and I will be taking some time soon to make sure we know each others exact wishes if that situation ever does happen.  Not that it will necessarily make it much easier at the time but maybe knowing will help ease the pain just a little.

Today was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time.  I will say though, having my little guy there with me (not in the room of coarse, waiting in the lobby with my dad) helped me so much.  Becoming a mom has made me a much stronger person and I am so grateful I had my Love Nugget to hold the rest of the day.  I continue to pray that maybe God will work some magic on my Grandma and she will make a miraculous recovery.  However, I’m also praying for my Grandpa and that he will continue to remain strong through all this and that God will be watching over him and helping him along in the decisions he has to make.

If you haven’t already, take the time to make sure your family knows how you want these unfortunate situations handled.  As difficult and uncomfortable a conversation it might be, in the long run, isn’t it worth it?

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8 comments on “Could you do it?

  1. I’m sorry about your grandma. I am sending good thoughts to your family.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. It never is easy, no matter how much you plan. I wish you and your family the best and I’ll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. I know it is hard but at the end of the day the decision is your grandmothers and it needs to be looked at as though you are just following her wishes not that you are making the decision the end her life. my husband and I made out our will and advanced directives once we found out the we were pregnant the first time we also made it clear to our families what our choices would be. my husband and I also promised each other that we would carry each others wishes out if the time, god forbid, arrived. it is a real necessity because if you do not have something in place and someone else in the family is not ok with the decisions, they can challenge, however if you have it legally written out then that is what is done.

    I hope things get better for you and your family soon

    • Thank you Michelle. I know, it is something that we have been putting to the side for a while now but this was a good reminder to go take care of it. You’re right, it is so important to have a plan in place for your family member. It’s just such a hard thing to do.
      Congrats on your little one! Hope you are all doing well 🙂

  4. I am so sorry to hear about your grandma hunnie. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to write this post. You are such a strong woman, both inside & out. The best advice I can say is to just sit down and pull out pictures of the two of you, think of memories you shared together. Those are moments that no one can ever take away. If you need anything, anything at all… please don’t hesitate to e-mail me “jessiejoshua21@yahoo.com”

    My prayers are with you & your family ❤

    • Thank you Jessie! You are so kind to offer your support and I so much appreciate it! That is great advice and I will be sifting through photos today. Luckily we had just been down to visit my grandparents about a month ago when she was doing great so I have a good, happy memory of her rolling out play dough with my Love Nugget 🙂

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